1. The most non-conformist girl in our dormitory
2. Confidences, confessions, and advice
3. An intimate little gathering
4. Girl talk and a run-in with Standards
5. I just don't belong here

• (character chart)

1. Young Women's
2. Youth Conference
3. Saturday's Warrior
4. Brigham Young University
• Gratuitous Love Scene
5. Polygamist
6. Temple Wedding
7. Orem High
8. Bordeaux Mission
9. Exmo Conference

"Do you guys want to watch a movie?" Jake asked. "I've brought The Life of Brian."

"Aww, can't we just hang out for a while?" asked Paige. "Do we always have to relate to each other by staring at a screen?"

"I think we need some entertainment," Cindy said, "otherwise scripture-boy here will turn our little party into a Sunday school lesson."

"Hey, I'm just finding you the good parts that they don't quote you at church," said Rex, still paging through the book in search of the right scripture.

"Oh I know a good one," I offered, "If you look at the facsimiles in the Pearl of Great Price, one of the hieroglyphs is a picture of a penis!"

Amy burst out laughing, "That's right! That's my all-time favorite scripture."

"Great, you guys are encouraging him," said Cindy, laughing. "Now we'll be scripture-chasing all night! You can take the kids out of Happy Valley, but you can't take Happy Valley out of the kids," she said shaking her head.

"Here, I've found it," said Rex.

"Okay, I'll show you the penis picture after," I said, as Amy giggled.

"Okay," he said, "but first Doctrine & Covenants section 132, verse 62: 'And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore he is justified.'"

"Does it really say that?" asked Jake. "I mean, it seems kinda cool, but I'm not sure what the heck he's talking about."

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"Duh, it's the scriptures," said Cindy, "It's not supposed to make sense."

"But wait, it gets better," said Rex, as he continued reading "'Thus saith the Lord, if a man taketh ten virgins, and giveth pleasure unto them, blessed is he above all men in my sight," and at that he doubled over laughing.

"It does not say that," said Paige in mock-exasperation.

"No, but it should," said Rex, regaining his composure.

"My turn!" I said, "let me show you guys the picture of a penis!" Rex handed me the triple-combination, and I quickly flipped to the circle of hieroglyphs of facsimile #2. "There it is," I said, pointing it out to Rex with the tip of my fingernail. Amy giggled.

"That's pretty hard to see," he said, "I could draw a better penis than that."

"Yeah, but it's funny because it's in the scriptures!" said Amy.

"True," he said smiling, "as scriptures go it's not too bad."

"Okay, is Sunday school over yet?" asked Cindy, "Can we watch The Life of Brian?"

"That movie is all full of religion too, you know," said Rex.

"Yeah, but the movie is funny!" said Cindy.

"You didn't find our scripture selections amusing?" asked Rex, laughing.

"Reality check here," said Cindy, "Monty Python has a lot better writing than the D & C."

I was a bit taken aback by Cindy's off-handed comment there. It seemed blasphemous to suggest that a comedy troupe's writing was better than Heavenly Father's. Yet she kind of had a point. I went back to sipping my beer as Jake started up the movie.

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